The Jerk on Fanfiction
by Tsuna 4 Cn4s
Summary: Naruto wants to make an account on a Fanfiction site, but can't pass the security test for the life of him. So he calls on Sasuke to help. But he soon finds out a surprising secret about his best friend.
1. Chapter 1

Note: Sorry about the weird way some things are typed on here. I tried putting .net on the end of Fanfiction, but for some reason the whole site name disappeared when I posted it. I hope it's still okay!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, this Fanfiction site, or Naruto's email address.

...

Naruto sat at his desk, squinting at the bright screen of his laptop. It was late, almost two o'clock in the morning, but the eighteen year old ninja couldn't sleep without trying one more time.

Naruto typed in the website's name and clicked on it. The page loaded quickly. He clicked on the small words at the right hand corner of the screen, which read "sign up". Again, the page loaded and the first question was shown on the screen.

'What is your email address?'

Naruto typed out quickly, "HokageNaruto-at-g-mail .com." He clicked the "next" button.

'Create a password?'

The ninja ticked the "yes" box and thought for a moment. What was a good password?

Naruto snapped his fingures and typed out "Sakura" in the appropriate space. He again pressed the "next" button. A large, blue box appeared on the screen.

'Password in use!'

"Rats." Naruto grumbled. He thought for another moment. "Maybe... I_love_ramen?"

The ramen lover typed out this too, only to again have the blue box appear on the screen.

"Double rats. How about... the_nine_tailed_fox?"

No.

"The_Leaf_Village?"

Nope.

"Sakura-chan?"

Try again.

"Sasuke_is_a_jerk?"

Oh yeah, Prince* chose that one.

"Ugh! Naruto?"

'Ding! Your password has been excepted!'

Naruto glared at the screen, not sure whether or not to be pleased by this. "All well, at least that part's done." Naruto clicked "next".

'Choose a pen name!'

"Hummmmmm... how about... "NarutoUzimakiFan"!" The narcissitic ninja typed. He scowled a little when no blue box popped up.

'Almost done! Type out the words in blue.'

'Oh no!' Naruto cried out in his head. 'The security test!' For the life of him, Naruto could never manage to get them right. When setting up his email, he had spent days, weeks, MONTHS in front of his computer trying the test over and over again. He finally had to call up Sakura to do it for him.

But Sakura had left the village yesterday on a mission, and no way no how would Naruto even CONSIDER calling up Sasuke or Kakashi to do it for him. He would never hear the end of it!

"I... I have to try!" Naruto said out loud, confidently. He pushed his wheeled chair away from the desk and grabbed a CD off the nearby bookshelf. Naruto popped the CD in the player and turned up the "We Are the Champions!" By Queens.

Slowly, dramatically, Naruto typed out the security code. He pressed the "finish" button. The disk skipped and shut off when a blue box appeared on the laptop's screen.

'Invalid security code!'

The screen reloaded, erasing all of his answers to the previous questions.

"UGH!" Naruto screamed furiously. "Not again! Why? WHY must I always get to the same part only to have to start all over again?! WHY?!"

Naruto got out of the program angrily. He then clicked on a bookmarked shortcut on his screen saver. The shortcut led to a profile on Fanfiction . net, a profile containing a message that had made him want to sign up.

The profile was very short, with only a few paragraphs.

'Uchiha Akakaski has written 15 stories for Naruto, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, and Bleach.

'Name: Why should I tell you fools?

'Age: Younger than Maddara but older than I was five seconds ago.

'Description: Handsomer than you'll ever be, that's for sure.

'Gender: Guess!

'Side note: All of my stories disable anonymous reviews. So if you're an anonymous reviewer, and you want to praise my awesome stories, but find you can't, and feel so bad that you can't tell me how much you enjoyed them, don't. I. Don't. Care. I don't need reviews from those below me. I get plenty of stupid emails from people with accounts, telling me dumb stuff I already know. Like how great my story is, and how they'll favorite it and how they alerted me as an author. You idiots think I don't know my stories are the best out there? If I could, I would disable ALL reviews!'

Naruto grimaced as he finished reading the profile. "That self-centered jerk! His stories aren't that good!"

Truthfully, they were. Naruto had read all fifteen of them, and loved them all. But he hadn't been able to review one of them because they didn't accept reviews from people without accounts. Then he had read the guy's profile... now all Naruto wanted to do was post stories even better that the jerk's. Then no one would want to read his anymore! And Naruto would be revered as the greatest fanfiction writer of all time!

The only thing in his way was the security test...

…

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed and laughed a little. Poor Naruto! I hate security tests, too! Try to guess who's profile it is. ^_^ I'll update the last chapter next week!

* Prince is a character I hope to introduce in a different story of mine. Sorry, but I just couldn't take out that joke. It was so funny to my siblings and I! As we personally know Prince-kun! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Thank you, everyone, for the all reviews and favorites and follows! You really made my week! :D Hope this is a good conclusion to Naruto's hard, dramatic struggle!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

•••

Chapter two

"You need help with the security test?" Sasuke asked with an amused snort. He rolled his eyes, causing Naruto to bristle in anger.

Shortly after his fifth try last night(see chapter one), the leaf ninja had passed out at his desk. When he eventually regained consciousness around eleven o'clock the next morning, he immediately retried the test six more times before, in desperation, calling Kakashi to see if he could help him.

Naruto explained his difficulties to his sensei and then had to wait five minutes for Kakashi to stop laughing. He eventually gave up and slammed the phone down, but decided(against his better judgement) to see if Sasuke would be willing to help him.

'Boy, I wish I hadn't done that!' The blond boy face-plamed as he thought this.

"Well, we going to get started or what?" Sasuke asked impatiently.

"Yeah yeah. Just got to turn my computer on, first."

"Why did you turn it off?"

"Anything else you would like to criticize me about? Huh? Before I turn the stupid thing on. Or would you like to press the button? Perhaps I don't do it the right way?" Naruto asked in exasperation.

"Shesh, Naruto. I don't know what you're getting so riled up about." Sasuke replied in a cool, calm tone. He pressed the laptop's on button, completely ignoring the glares he was receiving from his "best friend".

Naruto sighed heavily before plopping down in his desk chair. Sasuke pushed him out of it.

"Hey! What was that for?!"

"I'm the one who's going to be answering this ridiculously easy test, so I'm also the one who gets to sit in the seat."

Naruto grumbled some swear words under his breath as he reluctantly sat cross-legged on the floor.

"Okay, Naruto. So I just go onto the Internet and- what the..." Sasuke trailed off as a new picture suddenly appeared on screen. "What's going on?"

"Oh! I forgot! I always play Angry Birds before using my computer." Naruto said, suddenly smiling and brightening up at the prospect of playing his favorite game. The older ninja pushed Sasuke out of his chair and sat down to throw some ugly, virtual birds at some sick-looking pig creatures.

After watching Naruto fail miserably for a few minutes, Sasuke said quietly, "You always play this before using your computer?"

"Uh huh." Naruto replied, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"And you can't go on unless you beat this level?"

"Uh huh."

"Naruto, I may know the reason why you failed those research essays last week." Naruto took a moment to glare at the Uchiha. But it was a moment too long, as a bomb-bird flew off screen without destroying the last pig.

"UGH! Look what you made me do, Sasuke!" Naruto screamed in frustration. Sasuke just rolled his eyes(again) and pushed Naruto out of the chair(again).

"Ow! Would you STOP DOING THAT!"

"Shut it, idiot." Was the only cold reply the blond got. Sasuke quickly and easy three-stared the course in less than two minutes.

"Humph." Naruto pouted. "Bet it's just beginner's luck! Don't look so smug! You're not good at everything!"

"Modesty forbids me to reply."

"Ughhhhh!"

•••

Half an hour later, Sasuke and Naruto had the blond ninja's own Fanfiction account up and running. Naruto was(finally) allowed to sit in the desk chair and immediately began setting up a profile, uploading images(some were of him, others of Sasuke, a few of Kakashi and DOZENS of Sakura), and PMing several different authors(most of them random people Naruto never even met).

Sasuke sat watching his hyper-active friend from a large arm chair in the corner. He smiled to himself, pleased like any best friend would be at how happy Naruto was. Though Sasuke was always sure to be the first one to point out Naruto's faults and failures, he was truly his friend(you don't fight an A rank criminal at twelve, journey through the "Forest of DEATH" and defeat a really old Uchiha guy without becoming close).

'Plus, his pitiful antics are hilarious.' The Uchiha laughed quietly.

"Hey, uh, Sasuke? How do you think I should reply to this?" Naruto suddenly asked.

Sasuke sighed heavily, thinking, 'Man, can this kid do anything by himself?!' Out loud he just asked, "What's the problem now, Naruto."

The blond ninja pointed sheepishly to the screen. The laptop showed many PMs from different people, all having replied to the messages the new account owner had sent them.

"What is wrong with you, man? I got it! You started an account. No need to send five messages about it!"

"What's a Naruto?"

"... Hai?"

"Buzz off, bud!"

"What have you been doing, Naruto?!" Sasuke asked Naruto with a conk on the head.

"Ow! Nothing! Just personal messaging some people about how I just got an account and I'll start posting stories better than any of that junk that's out there and how every other story will look like "Dick and Jane" books compared to mine!" Naruto answered promptly, a pompous grin on his face.

Sasuke face-plamed himself, not being able to believe how idioticly self-centered Naruto truly was. For a while, the black haired ninja said nothing. Finally, though, he asked suddenly, "Hey, idiot, why'd you want to make an account so bad anyway? I mean, you were so desperate, you actually called ME. You know I'm never going to let you live this down by the way, right?"

"Yeah yeah, I figured. The rrason I wanted an account so bad was 'cause of this jerk on the site."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, there's this guy on the Fanfiction site who's writing is pretty decent but has such a big head, I decided to teach him a lesson by writing amazing stories so much better than his that nobody will read his anymore!" Naruto shouted, taking a small, heroic poise as he finished his dramatic tale. He then quickly sat down and clicked on the shortcut with the hated profile.

Sasuke leaned down next to the Uzimaki boy and read the profile quickly. Much to Naruto's surprise and annoyance, his best friend suddenly started to laugh.

"What? What's so funny?"

Sasuke couldn't speak, as his laughing kept interrupting. Eventually, the Uchiha calmed down enough to gasp out, "That's my account!" And then collapsed to the floor, struggling with the need to breath.

For a long time, Naruto said nothing. He just froze, as if time had suddenly stood still. Then, as suddenly as a Chōji can finish a Chili dog, Naruto jumped off his chair and lunged at his best friend, screaming, "You're the jerk on Fanfiction .net!"

•••

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! ^_^


End file.
